Headlines

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2017

MSNBC: 'Giant inflatable chicken stares down White House'

State Department ordered by court to look once again for Hillary Clinton emails

August

Trump's America is looking a lot like Germany before World War II, Anne Frank Center says

Trump's 'legal' immigration plan would cost nearly 5 million jobs, according to his alma mater

Trump adds 'locked and loaded' to 'fire and fury' as world mourns lack of 'logic and reason'

July

Donald Trump just had his most dishonest week as president: 7 days, 34 false claims

ICE agent anonymously speaks out: 'We seem to be targeting the most vulnerable, not the worst'

McCain interrupts taxpayer-sponsored cancer treatment to vote to take care away from millions

Baltimore cop accidentally records self planting drugs at a crime scene

Trump tries to lead Republican senators to Trumpcare without having a clue what path he is on

Trump's 'Election Integrity' chief publicly questions the results of the 2016 election

Trump 'thinks' he's signed more bills than 'any president ever,' possibly because he is dumb

Alex Jones Has a Perfectly Normal Chat About All the Slave Children Who Are Sent to Mars

June

ICE Director: Every Single Undocumented Immigrant in America Should Be 'Worried'

Iran bans Zumba classes for being ‘un-Islamic'

US Congressman Instructs 'Christendom' to Kill Every 'Radicalized Islamic Suspect'

Official Resigns After Blaming Flint Water Crisis On ‘N****rs Who Don’t Pay Their Bills’

Sean Spicer Refuses To Say Whether Trump Has Confidence In Attorney General

Any Half-Decent Hacker Could Break Into Mar-a-Lago

This phone case brews espresso on the go

This Is Exactly What Khloe Kardashian Orders At McDonald's

Portland Burrito Business Forced to Close After Getting Hounded for 'Cultural Appropriation'

Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson Is Having Trouble Accepting That 'Baywatch' Is A Bad Movie

DHS chief: If you knew what I knew about terror, you'd 'never leave the house'

Hamptons bachelors are getting vasectomies so golddiggers can't trap them

Vladimir Putin Tells Megyn Kelly: U.S. Hackers Could Have Framed Russia

35 Things You Need to Give Up to Be Successful

Ivanka Trump tells Saudi women she is encouraged by progress Muslim kingdom has made in empowering women

Fox & Five co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle reveals that Trump called her for advice on climate policy

May

What Is Covfefe? Trump Baffles With Late Night Twitter Post

U.S. House candidate accused of 'body-slamming' reporter in Montana

A Creationist Sues the Grand Canyon for Religious Discrimination

All That's Left To Say Is That The President Is A Big Dummy

Radio host and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones apologizes to Chobani

Images of Donald Trump in a bathrobe flood Twitter after Spicer says he 'doesn't own one'

Texas teacher gives 13-year-old girl 'most likely to become a terrorist' award

One way to battle future flooding: stop building on flood plains, say experts

Trump on if he may start war with North Korea: 'I don't know'

Create Your Very Own "Garden Spicer" in Three Easy Steps

Donald Trump Thinks Working Out Is "Misguided"

White House Staff React in Real-Time as Trump Tweets: 'Jesus'

Stop Blaming Donald Trump, and Start Blaming the Republican Cowards Who are Letting Him Ruin America

Colbert uses vulgar gay sex joke to mock Donald Trump

A Twitter employee earning $160,000 in San Francisco says he's scraping by

Trump Says the Government Needs a 'Good Shutdown'

Trump on the Civil War: 'Why Could That One Not Have Been Worked Out?'

April

Donald Trump slams 'archaic' US constitution that is 'really bad' for the country

Never Get Up To Feed Your Pet Again with the Petnet SmartFeeder

Conspiracy Theorist Alex Jones Apologizes For Promoting 'Pizzagate'

Donald Trump Can't Pronounce the Word "Nazi," and We're Very Confused About That

Prince Reigns as Top Record-Seller in The Year After His Death

Facebook Really Wants You to Hang Out With Your Friends in Virtual Reality, But Do You?

Bill O'Reilly ousted at Fox after sexual harassment investigation

Trumpcare Would Cost 24 Million People Coverage, CBO Projects

Fox uses Trump's 'pussy grabbing tapes to teach about harassment'

Steve Bannon Booted from National Security Council

White House 'planted fake story to smear Politico reporter who wrote about leaks'

President Donald J. Trump Proclaims April 2017 as National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month

March

FBI director James Comey admits under oath that he hates the Patriots

High School Football Coach Suspended After He Allegedly Put His Dick In A Hot Dog Bun And Showed Players

North Carolina Officially Rolls Back 'Bathroom Bill'

Trump Warns House Republicans: Repeal Health Law or Lose Your Seats

Multiple SXSW Bands Denied Entry Into the U.S.

Spicer: Trump's Golf Habit Totally Different Than Obama's

Trump Takes a Gamble in Cutting Programs His Base Relies On

After only two months in office, Trump falls to new approval rating low of 37 percent

House Intel Committee member Speier says the Trump-Russia investigation may be bigger than Watergate

White House Ends CNN Ban After Only Eight Hours

February

Pizza Hut Made Shoes That Can Order Pizza, and We Really Want a Pair

Burger King gets mildly kinky with adults-only meal

Oreo-Flavored Beer is Here

A Brief History of Spontaneously Combusting Devices

Donald Trump's Awkward Handshakes, Ranked

Donald Trump Appears to Make Up Sweden Terror Attack

51% of Trump voters believe the "Bowling Green Massacre" was real

Mark Cuban says Trump is 'unaware of how technology works'

A President You Can Drink Bleach With

Phone on fire? Here's what never to do

Barack Obama: Most Americans want him back as President, poll shows

Even Kanye West Now Regrets Supporting Donald Trump

Arkansas passes law allowing rapists to sue victims who want an abortion

January

Sean Hannity: Donald Trump Should Deny Press Credentials To Major News Outlets

Things Can Only Get Worse

Donald Trump Signs Refugee Order on Holocaust Remembrance Day

Betsy DeVos says guns in schools may be necessary to protect students from grizzly bears

Silicon Valley billionaires buy underground bunkers preparing for the apocalypse

This Family's Roomba Ran Over Dog Poop — And It All Went Majorly Downhill From There

Doomsday Clock Moves 30 Seconds Closer to Midnight

Are Trump's Tweets Presidential?

Obama's parting words: 'We're going to be OK'

America dropped 26,171 bombs in 2016. What a bloody end to Obama's reign

Donald Trump starts MLK weekend by attacking civil rights hero John Lewis




2016


December

George Bush says world is better off without Saddam Hussein

Corpus Christi residents can use tap water again

5 tips to decorate your home like a rich person, when your bank account is anything but

Donald Trump Has Been Named Time's Person of the Year for 2016, Because It's 2016


November

Entire internet to be backed up in Canada over fears of Trump censorship

Fake News Delivers Real Gunman to Pizzeria

Nutella thieves caught with $30K of hazelnut spread and stolen cars

How To Get Drunk The Healthy Way This Holiday Season

Donald Trump’s Cabinet Is On Track To Be The Least Experienced In Modern History

Trump Announces Executive Actions for Day One


October

FBI Launches Internal Investigation into its Own Twitter Account

Reagan’s Son: ‘My Father Would Be So Embarrassed’ By Trump’s Event With Bill Clinton’s Accusers


September

Cuddling kittens can kill you, warn scientists

Gorilla 'named Harambe McHarambeface after zoo's public vote'

Trump says he eats fast food because 'at least you know' what's in it

Tom Brady has never eaten a strawberry and doesn't plan to.

The slogan for Apple's new iPhone 7 translates into "This is penis" in Hong Kong

Pam Bondi 'stole my dog'

North Korea bans sarcasm because Kim Jong-un fears people only agree with him ‘ironically’

Hillary Clinton coughed a bunch and now Twitter thinks she's dying

Newt Gingrich Started Coughing While Bashing Hillary Clinton For Coughing


August

Rush Limbaugh Terrified of Lesbian Farmers for Some Reason

'Mexico will not pay for the wall'

Young man unable to have sex because his penis has grown too big

People Who Talk to Themselves Aren’t Crazy, They’re Actually Geniuses

Pamela Anderson's anti-porn stance

Mind-controlled nanobots could release drugs inside your brain

Why is Eric Trump's Face Like That?

The 12-year-old girl who shoots majestic wild animals for fun vows NEVER to stop

Much Ado About 50 Cent’s Dick

Trump's Big Plan: Promise a Big Plan

Shetland Pony Breaks Into English Bar, Allegedly Gets Drunk

Drug King Ran Cartel to Save Daughter


July


Donuts in flight in first US-approved drone delivery

Why binge watching your TV box-sets could kill you

Men fall from cliff playing Pokémon Go

Trump's Bid to Become Born-Again Fails as Jesus Turns Down Friend Request

Sharing Your Netflix Password is Now a Federal Crime

Don't Worry: You’re Not Going to Jail for Sharing Your Netflix Password

Donald Trump Won't Commit to Serving as President if He Wins Presidential Election

David Beckham Caught 'Flirting' With 'Pretty Brunette' At SoulCycle

Topless Kendall Shocks Kim With Her Bare Breasts & Nipple Ring

Man Allegedly Scans Penis At Supermarket Checkout

"Selfie Dad" becomes Internet-famous for mocking daughter's "sexy" photos

A new survey shows most women groom their public hair. Should we be concerned?

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